Mahmoud Said Kawash
2023 / 9 / 18
HOW CRUEL YOU ARE!!
Poem by: Mahmoud Said Kawash
It is you
For whom I lost my bearings in order to reach
It is you
For whom I endured those days, which were a part of my life, to end up in your hands
O you for whom I left everything to come to
I declared my belonging to a moment that neither reason nor madness could comprehend
How I was burning with longing for that day I would meet you
A day when the waves of the sea crash and scatter atoms of encounter throughout the world
Atoms which smell of the scent of cold mountain flowers
My waiting leans on looks that do not know the languages of silence
Looks searching for you and wondering...where are you?
Moments of my life pass by quickly, but heavily
I blame fate with a big question which exhausts me:
Was I created to wait?
Yes, the cruelty of this waiting has exhausted me
I am tired of searching for you and sailing to you without hope
I see it as the sunset of a lifetime, folding among its depths the remains of a sail
And the lights of ships sparkling in the darkness
Like grains of stars which this day will not reach
Like an encounter which asks: How long will the wait be?
When will you realise that I keep waiting for the sun to rise?
I am addicted to meeting the night whenever the sunset comes
I will keep waiting no matter how the winds blow your sails and the storms take you to the farthest shore
No walls of distance will prevent my heart from feeling your warmth
Nor will thousands of restrictions prevent me from breathing your cold exhalations
I keep the patience of the mountains, vallys and oceans
My silence is sung by possible and impossible voices
Leaving me looking for you, with lost steps carrying me towards a port of wishes
Some raindrops fall with my tears to the utmost depths
You become as far away from me as you are close to me
I make thousands of ships and sails and throw them towards the sunset, so that they may reach you
But they sink and disappear into the late horizon departing to infinity
A gloomy darkness covers me, swallowing all the meanings of life
A bitter cold embraces my depths, so I seek shade from the features of the moon
Your image reflects on it and you see me waiting, so you carelessly turn away
My waiting is long and my patience is weakening, so my silence speaks and I complain:
I complain about your deception and your silence regarding waiting for me
I complain and scream about my pain
How cruel you are!! How cruel you are!!