From a martyrs diary

I was always thinking…and asking myself how shall I die and what for?

I was always perplexed in finding out the answer…But I always wished that my dying shall have a value

I have lost so many brethren in sword ..during the combats with terrorists…I always felt sad for their departure…..I was a mate in their last moments..I never felt that one of them suffered….or cried …or wept….

I was talking to them in their last moments…..we never thought but in making a victory over terrorism ……the quiet departure of my mates made me simplify death…I felt that their death is valuable…..They did not pass away like that…..

This evening , mother , we have a fierce combat with terrorists…

I might not come back….and I might return like previous ones….I might embrace a brethren in sword and converse with him in his last moments as usual…..

This evening , dear mom , is different from other days….
Quiet prevails…..with a little bit cool breeze…..the air is fresh….
I remembered our first moment…..my beautiful childhood beside you… tea plate …rounded cakes….
I remembered how we used to bake peanuts on stove..
Speak and entertain ….
Mom , I felt that this evening is different…..

We combated with terrorists….and the combat became fiercer…..many mates fell…and I carried some of the back….and continued fighting….
I do not know how to describe the sensations that hit me for a moment…

I felt , mom , that there is something wet sprinkled underneath my suit…
I felt nothing……and guessed that it might be the sweat that comes out due to overload that night……

There were a lot of dust and voices around me….

After a moment, I felt that the liquid lingering underneath my suit became warmer than usual…and had more viscosity that sweat.
I sensed my military suit…It was soaked with damp…..red..liquid…
It seems , mother , that I will embrace none of my mates this evening….

Up till this moment I felt no pain…
I only felt that something warm pierced my body once more…..rightward…Another leftward….and the lingering of the red liquid increases…..I can no more recognize things….
I felt , mom ,That I was losing control over my body…
I tried to continue pressing the trigger …….but it did not respond to me….My fingers can no more seize it…

I felt , dear mom , that I was flying to unknown world….I did not recognize it….I did not feel pain….I flied like a flue ….. and move like butterflies..

At that moment , I revived among my mates in the hospital and ordered a pen and a piece of paper to write down to you what I felt at those moments…I asked them what happened and they yelled " Thank God You are back….. naughty live longer " There are only ten bullets in your chest…..That evening we chuckled a lot…..I felt tired and decided to ….Mom , exactly like I slept at your bosom when I was a little kid.

I love you very much…..As I loved you very much….we will meet dear…..
Bye….

PS. After three days of writing down this letter , my brother Ali , returned to the bosom of his mother who embraced him with trilling cries of joy…..

Mercy and immortality be to the souls of our righteous martyrs

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