A few months ago I saw Felicity Hoffman on the satellite by accident as a guest in Oprah Winfry, she was introducing her book " A practical hand book for the boy friend" that she co-written with one of her friends, and since I watch her in the really amusing series "desperate house wives" I made a stop and watched the programm. She was stopping people in the street together with her co-star Eva Longoria and gathering their opinions about what they would like to have the most in their relation with the opposite sex, some said cuddling, some said kissing, and some said sex in general. I thought of what would really attract me the most in a man, surely I need all the above mentioned, but there is an ingredient that have always attracted me in people in general and I know I can t have a strong bond with some one without it, especially some one who gets as close to a woman as a lover, it s caring. Not love, not friendship and not good sex, it s the base of all these things if you want to have them right. It s even the base of a good human being, to care in general, to care to make things better in every day life, to care about children in general not just yours, to care to help your spouse or partner be at their best all the time, example; you don t buy your house wife lingerie, you get her a maid and if you can t you do your share in house chores and with the children, and you do that because you really want to see her comfortable and happy and not to score that night, like the Hoffman co-writer said" if you want sex you should fix something" well if you want to have great sex every time you should fix it because you care, she well sense that and care back and desire you more if you are genuinely tender. You talk to her about things that interest her, if you really love her you should know them by heart, many spouses and close family members spend years together not bothering to know what makes the other "tick". Actually for me, when I get close to some one, I like us to get so very close, and not just in bed.
Another thing I heard in that show, but by one of the male pedestrians, he asked "why don t woman say what s on their minds?!" actually, and though being an open character who expresses her honest opinions most of the time, when it comes to women and men, some men get board of the woman who expresses her love simply and openly, and some see only what s on their minds so no matter what a woman says they don t hear it but they still see them selves as martyrs, actually both kinds are not worth knowing. A second thing, I really don t understand that complain some men keep telling about women "we can t understand women" I think I speak for lots of women when I say that we are very simple and open creatures, and all we want is what I mentioned above, "genuine care", and no, that doesn’t mean we need wives, no sicker thing can a man say more than this, only idiots who get succored by bimbos think that manhood is all about being macho and tough and heartless, men who think like that have their brains some place other than their heads, and any bimbo can brain "wash" them. We don t want men to treat us like idiots, exactly like those who bring us "democracy and freedom" treat our region, we have a bull-shit detector, we know when a man does a good deed to score, not to make love even, but to score, or to have sex, or even to have a good meal cooked for him, even during marriage, a man complains that he did what he was told exactly but still she s not satisfied, well, but you actually don t "care"!, if you really care you d know what I want without me having to tell you, you would know my needs, but having to tell you every little thing I need every time means you don t know me at all, means you re not "close" to me. You d "understand" if you "care" about "me", not just about fulfilling "your needs", which ever they may be.