2015 / 3 / 27
Counselors and psychologists now tout the very real effects of positive and negative intrapersonal and interpersonal exchanges. Without a doubt, everything we allow into the sanctity of our minds effects our wellbeing, for better´-or-worse. We are the only ones who maintain the control over our input, and standing porter at this doorway is very important. Without the ability to say “Yes, you may enter”´-or-“No, you may not enter,” we’d be in a difficult position.
The same situation is true of our effect on others. It doesn’t hurt to keep an eye on the way we interact with others. It’s also well to remember that the reaction another has to us really has very little to do with us. Only they can govern their reactions even when it seems to be about something you might have said´-or-done.
Consider the concept of an “emotional bank”. Every positive gesture is a “deposit”, and every inconsiderate gesture is a “withdrawal.”
We have the power to dramatically improve our familial, platonic, and professional relationships with this simple concept of giving.
First, consider the times when you might contribute to a sense of dissonance:
Do you downplay the contributions of others?
Do you fail to include people in discussions?
Do you point out people’s flaws?
Are you negative/Do you complain often?
Do you give people consideration with your time and attentiveness?
Are you aware of the times you contribute to others in a positive way?
Are you overly critical´-or-sarcastic?
As for positivity – do you add to a sense of harmony with the people around you?
Do you ignore´-or-easily forgive harmless misunderstandings and sporadically insensitive remarks?
Do you offer support, concern, cooperation, tolerance, and patience?
Do you approach people light-heartedly?
Do you share your sense of humor?
Do you refuse to keep score?
Do you show appreciation?
Are you able to negotiate and seek agreeable compromise?
Just as you reflect on these qualities within yourself, it’s the better part of wisdom to be aware of these qualities in others. Not only do you want to contribute to the emotional well-being of others, you also want to focus your energy on those who are most willing to return your affirmations. There are many levels on the path to individual unfoldment, and some may be further ahead while others are further behind.
Encourage your friends, family, and children by providing them with the good example of how you live your life. Positivity is infectious.
“Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch onto the affirmative.”
~ Sam Cooke
“Worry is a waste of emotional reserve.” ~ Ayn Rand
“Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.” ~ Oprah Winfrey